Rhetoric framing disease and illness as a battle that can be fought and won is hurtful to those of us who know we will never “win”.
My mother has Multiple Sclerosis. There is no cure. She will have MS her entire life, she might even die from MS, her condition will probably get worse not better over her lifetime.
This is not because she didn’t fight hard enough. This is not because she didn’t have the strength or willpower to fight MS off.
This is because the mylan seethes in her brain and spinal cord are deteriorating. You can’t fight that off, you can’t use willpower to generate mylan.
I have depression. The chemicals in my brain are not at the levels they should be at. I have had depression since puberty. I have been on medication for it for the past 4 years. I have attempted to get off my medication at least 3 times, all unsuccessfully (and sometimes dangerously). I do this because I do not feel like whole or successful person on medication. I am successful in other areas of my life, I have tremendous drive and willpower, but I am still depressed.
That is not a personal failing! But the way in which we talk about illness in this country indicates that it is. If I am not strong enough to break out of depression, then there must be something wrong with me.
We talk like this because we don’t want to think that bad things can happen to good people for no reason. When a loved one is struggling with an illness we want to believe that if they fight hard enough, if they want it hard enough, they will recover and survive. This is not the case. Sometimes illness strikes the people we love, often times people with drive and with willpower, and sometimes it kills them. Sometimes people don’t recover, not because they didn’t fight, but because that’s what illness does.
|No Male Ever:||Yeah I really like her but she doesn't have a thigh gap
"So, yes, for the fucking love of God, movies matter. TV shows matter. Novels matter. They shape the lens through which you see the world. The very fact that you don’t think they matter, that even right now you’re still resisting the idea, is what makes all of this so dangerous to you — you watch movies so you can turn off your brain and let your guard down. But while your guard is down, you’re letting them jack directly into that part of your brain that creates your mythology. If you think about it, it’s an awesome responsibility on the part of the storyteller. And you’re comfortable handing that responsibility over to Michael Bay."
If the mean people in our lives were crappy 100% of the time, it would be easy to leave them. We would shrink from becoming friends with them or jump aboard the nope rocket in the early stages of trouble, and we would feel only relief when they are gone from our lives.
The problem is that very few people are evil all the time. They don’t wear villain costumes purchased at ForeverEvil. They don’t laugh maniacally and stroke their evil goatees while monologuing about their evil plans. They appear in our lives as People-Who-Would-Be-Awesome-Except-For-That-One-Glaring-Problem. They have potential to be awesome, and sometimes they are awesome, and they make us feel awesome, so we relax and let out that breath we’ve been holding in, and then BAM! They show their mean side, and we do a ton of mental work trying to reconcile the mean stuff with the awesome stuff.
Breaking up brings relief, as you lose the constant mental labor of managing the relationship AND the stress of being constantly disappointed and hurt, but it also brings grief. Shitty people who forget your birthday and give little backhanded compliments and gossip about your secrets sometimes give really good hugs, or presents, or are your favorite people to get drunk and watch figure-skating with, or were the sole witness to an important time in your life. The good times were real.
I cannot express how much of a lightbulb moment it was when I realized people did not have to be unilaterally awful in order for you not to want to be in a relationship with them
Healed #verticallip piercing with #yellowgold and CZ jewelry by #bvla (at Evolution Piercing)
|Me:||FRICK YES I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO CARRY ALL THIS LAUNDRY IN ONE GO
|That one sock:||lol bye
18 Various Kinds of Opals
When most people think of an opal, they might think of a milky-colored stone containing a rainbow of stripes or flecks inside it. What many people don’t know is that they are incredibly diverse in appearance, and are not actually minerals. Opals are a solid, amorphous form of silica, and are classified as “mineraloids”. Like other mineraloids, such as amber, pearl, and obsidian, they lack structural order, or “crystallinity”.
From the top:
- Black Opals
- Cat’s Eye Opals
- Dendritic Opals
- Flamingo Opals
- Peruvian Pink Opals
- Zebra Opals
- Leopard Opals
- Yowah Nut and Koroit Opals (both have the same characteristics - they merely come from two different areas).
- Brown Opals
- Ethiopian Honeycomb Opals
- Green Opals (Serbian, Tanzanian, and Brazilian)
- Peruvian Blue Opals
- Matrix Opals
- Landscape Opals (Andean and Australian)
- Mexican Fire Opals
- Crystal Opals
- Australian Boulder Opals
- Ethiopian Ribbon Opals
(Side note - the image backgrounds are transparent, except for the matrix/landscape picture, which seems hellbent on being an asshat, no matter how many times I try to fix it)